Submitted by: Samaria Colbert, LCSW
We live in a fallen world, where we exist within a sinful nature, witness natural disasters, and have endured years of racism. In many ways regardless of the trappings of sin, shame and abuse, you can go to God broken, needing repair, and in need of a Savior. Our Savior is the King of Kings and Lord of Lord, Jesus Christ.
Many leaders and helping professionals are starting to experience extreme exhaustion, burnout and compassion fatigue. We are slowly being ushered into our broken place. Here are ten tips that helped me get through my broken place and I hope they will help you. These tips are not in any particular order nor are they all inclusive. These are just my personal tips from what I learned along the way.
Number 1: Determine not to give up.
I know that sounds cliché but while in your time of brokenness, the most profound feeling you will have is the feeling of wanting to give up.
It is not a matter of if you feel like giving up, you WILL feel like giving up. There will be a still small voice in your head that says, give up, commit suicide, this is too much for you. Regardless of how you feel don’t give up. Feelings are just that feelings it is when you act on them that you give them power. Just because you feel a certain kind of way doesn’t mean it is true. Your brokenness often gives us an unfair misperception of who you are. You are not a failure. There is always a way to hope beyond your circumstances. It starts with a decision, not a feeling of hope and decision to hope.
Read Psalm 27:13-14 (NKJV). Make a decision to hope against all hope. Make a decision to believe when you don’t have a reason to. Do like David said in Psalms 27, just wait on Him, and He will give you strength in your heart.
Number 2: Arm Yourself.
Remember the battle is not really flesh and blood, it is a battle for your soul. The only way to win this battle is to understand that we are at war with the kingdom of darkness. There is war waging in heavens on your behave. Yes, you are going to win but you do have to fight. You may be weak but fighting it necessary. You can’t fight spiritual wars with physical weapons. You must fight to win. The only way to protect yourself and win this battle is to put on the armor that God provides.
Ephesians 6:10-18 (NKJV) (Read Scripture)
The armor of God helps you to stand. You can’t defeat brokenness living in the sin. Get delivered. Remember faith is a shield that protects you and brings what you desire to pass.
Number 3: Prayer, Praise and Worship
Just keep praying, praying, and praying. Regardless of how you feel God hears you. He may not answer right away but keep your face before God He will respond.
Don’t focus on what you don’t have praise God. Praise Him for who He is, even though you may not be out yet of your brokenness, praise Him for bringing you out. Worship, play some good worship music. Sit in an alone place and soak in His presence. Worship sets the atmosphere for God to show up.
Number 4: Seek Wise Counsel
I had an incident recently where I was not sure what to do. So, I called my Aunt. She is a godly woman and would give me wise counsel. She talked to me for almost an hour. Although she didn’t tell me anything new. She did confirm that I was making the right decision. I had once again, taken on too much. Another problem I am getting delivered from.
She affirmed me and confirmed the word God gave me previously. She also confirmed that I was not weak in my limitations. We all have limits and I needed to be clear about mine. Still sometimes a right decision, in the end will hurt someone else, still it is a right decision. I wanted to help someone I love, but I realized although I loved them I was not in a position to help. My point is we all need someone who will give us godly counselor. They need to tell us when we are right, wrong or indifferent. They know us, so they know what we can and cannot handle. Seeking wise counsel is wise. Notice I said wise counsel, not just counsel.
Anybody can counsel you, but a wise Christian counselor is something different. My aunt is a godly woman who gave me the encouragement I needed. But, I did not go to her for mental health counseling. If you need mental health counseling, seek a trained professional.
Number 5: Rest, Self-care & Boundaries.
Turn your cell phone off, take a long staycation or a vacation. Remember a no is just as powerful as yes. You will never recover from brokenness if you don’t take care of yourself. Healing is a process. You’d be surprised how a few days of rest will start the healing process. Take a few days to rest when you need too. I know some are saying, “I don’t have time to rest.” My only response is what if your life depended on it? Yes, you can keep going and going yourself right into a stroke, or a heart attack.
So, you don’t have time to rest? If you don’t have time to rest, you don’t have time to heal. If you keep going things will get progressively worse. I sound harsh, but this is a harsh reality. You don’t want to work so hard your body shuts down to the point where you have to rest because your body stops operating. Remember you are not as young as you use to be, you can’t take a licking (emotionally, spiritually, physical) and keep on ticking. It will catch up with you.
Number 6: Understand your purpose.
Remember your brokenness is grooming you for purpose and fulling God’s divine plan for your life. Your brokenness is not just because, it is for your ministry, your testimony and your prosperity. When you understand the purpose of your pain, you will understand the purpose for your life. You will also have an inner hope to carry while going through the trials of life.
Number 7: Declutter your life.
Declutter negative people out of your life. Look at all your activities and declutter yourself from unnecessary projects. Realize what is your responsibility and what is not your responsible. There are some things you have to let go of. You can’t be all things to all people. Declutter your life.
Number 8: Pray the scripture.
Take out scripture that specifically speaks to your circumstance. For example, if you are struggling with severe anxiety or fears. Get as many scriptures about fear and worry and declare deliverance over your life.
You say out loud the scripture below.
2 Timothy 1:7 (KJV) “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”
After that, pray “Lord I thank you that you have not given me the spirit of fear….”
Whatever your unique situation is there is a scripture found in the word of God. When you pray the scripture, God has to respond to His own word.
Number 9: Make a decision to forgive.
You will never get healed from brokenness with unforgiveness in your heart. It is not possible. Forgiveness is hard, but it required. I wrote a book entitled, Healing the Heart Through Forgiveness. I encourage you to pick it up.
Number 10: Attend Church
There is nothing like a good church service. God will speak to your pastor directly about your situation. There have been times where I felt like my pastor must have been sitting in my house watching the goings on of my life. I remember years ago, I was going through a major struggle. I relocated to North Carolina and was in need of a church home. I remember it like it was yesterday. So, I went to this one church and the Holy Spirit takes over the place. The apostle of the house gets up and has us to hold our neighbors’ hand. He then said, “we are all hear gathered together, but you don’t know what the next person is going through. You don’t what it took for them to just get out of bed this morning. The person sitting next to you is in the midst of a struggle.” That just completely wrecked me. I was crying literally uncontrollably. Then he had us to pray for our neighbors. That day I was healed when I left the service.
I ended up joining the church and being a member for years before I moved to a different city. My point is that one service changed my life, because I was struggling so much at the time and my broken place was so unbearable I had decided to return home, knowing full well God had told me to come. That day I was given strength for the journey. The church is a supernatural entity by God uses to heal hearts and mind. A good church service will do what six months of intensive therapy cannot do. i always say go to a church where God is moving. Don’t go to the church of the frozen chosen expecting a breakthrough. You will have to get out of your traditional mindset. You will have to determine not to be offended by alternative ways of worship. Corinthians 3:17 (KJV)
Bonus Number 11: Know your Weakness, and Triggers.
We all have areas of weakness and vulnerability. If you are in recovery from alcohol addiction you may not want to go buy a soda from the liquor store. If you know you have a weakness to a certain thing you may not want to be around the persons who are engaging in your weakness. Recovery from brokenness also means changing persons, places and things.
Lastly remember God is the one who will renew your strength spiritually, emotionally and mentally. Getting to your quiet place, spend time alone with Him, soaking in His presence. The Holy Spirit will begin to meet you where you are consuming your heart and refilling your spirit.
Isaiah 40:31 King James Version (KJV)
Samaria M Colbert © 2015. Broken: God’s Plan To Restore You When You Have Been Damaged Beyond Repair. For more from Samaria see www.kingdomcreartivecounseling.com
The one thing you can't buy is love, but I promise if your heart is in the right place you can MAKE IT!
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Garlic and butter, YES PLEASE! The two greatest pleasures in life. Two INDULGENT ingredients I could probably live off of for the rest of my life. And when you combine these two in a glorious shrimp skillet, well, it’s nothing short of mouth watering happiness. So here is how you can create this at home. Enjoy.
Here is what you will need:
I have mastered the struggle. Now it's time to master solutions that bring peace, joy, happiness, love, and inspiration. With the current state of civil unrest and my recent episode of depression; it's my responsibility to make sure I keep and maintain my righteous mind. God has entrusted me with a great work. A part of that work is to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
I know suffering. I know pain. I've known love. I've known joy. I constantly seek peace. Because my purpose is greater than me; taking moments to connect and ground myself are essential to my mental & physical health.
So my dear hearts, I encourage you to find space & time to give yourself the best of you and embrace that which makes you happy and brings great joy. We all need a safe space to just be. Most often, you have to create the safe space you need for yourself. I had to remind myself of this fact and as a result, I packed a bag and retreated to a safe calm peace of heaven, the Outer Banks...God is here. The fantasy of being rescued isn't always a reality, so darling rescue yourself & live!
With as much love as I can give,
Love Lady Kay
Pre-pandemic my lifestyle was simple and predictable. I went to work, the gym, the grocery store and home unless I was traveling. I am what some would call a creator of habit. I don't do well with unwelcome change & I know where I put everything. I know right...who would have thought.
So here's the tea! This pandemic came with challenges. I took the opportunity to spend my time learning new skills like baking and working with raw materials. I spend a great deal of time in the yard, painting, writing and planting flowers. You guys know how I feel about flowers. I have watched friends and family start gardens and spend more time with their loved ones. The down time in my mind was a much needed reset for families, relationships, the ozone, and everyday life.
Everyone keeps talking about the "new normal". I always insert my strong opinion that there is NOTHING NORMAL about a pandemic, wearing masks, being afraid of everyone coughing, being afraid to leave your home and not seeing your loved ones. It is not normal to live in fear and isolation worried about basic needs...rent, lights, water or food. Life right now is not normal! Stop saying new normal...LOL! The real news is that we are still here to tell the story. The question is which story will you tell? The Bible tells us we have power to speak a thing and it will happen. You have what you say and you can do what you believe.
Thriving through during the different seasons of your life is essential to your development. No one wants to die as they were born. Everyone has great purpose. It's my prayer that you know your purpose and are living in your truth everyday. We need love, a blessed assurance, unity and compassion during these trying times. We can't stop the media from pumping fear into our homes but we can choose to turn off the TV and pray. We can't stop any illness or sickness but we can ensure our bodies as strong and immune systems boosted. It's all about focusing on the solution.
Change begins within. Everything we need is already inside. Solutions to your situations are inside you and powered by your faith. So here is the challenge, for the next 15 days I want you to do the following:
These tips have helped me reach a level of "okness" because at one point sis was not OK. For two weeks I was a hot mess. I baked and cried my way though my emotions until I was ready to gather myself remembering who I am. Being single during this pandemic has been mentally difficult. It was hard before, but being involuntarily shut down created idol time for me to think about the one thing missing from my life. But we will save that soap box for another time and space.
For now, we are thriving, serving and aware of who we are and how we can help others who need to be encouraged and uplifted. My heart hopes that you and your families are well. Know that you are in my heart and thoughts. Stay well...
Thank you for being the best part of my day.
All my love,
I love to make easy, fresh, quick meals. It's no secrete Salmon is one of my favorite meals. This easy recipe is sure to make you feel warm and tingly on the inside. Give it a try and don't forget to leave a comment to let me know how you did.
How to Make Cajun Salmon Pasta
I don't trust people who put salt on watermelon. Watermelon is perfect as is. I wanted to share how I cut watermelon making it easy to eat, store share and enjoy no matter the occasion. I hope you enjoy. Happy Watermelon season!
Let's face it, life can be challenging. The world moves rapidly and trying to keep up can distract our focus away from important things that mean the most. It was on my heart to encourage you by reminding you to take a moment this week to give thanks for your spouse or partner. Being married is no cake walk, however, it is a beautiful reflection of God's love. If you are blessed to be married take a moment to sit with your beloved and together give thanks for the grace to have and hold each other.
What better time to reset and refocus your relationship than right now. While the world faces crisis, make sure your relationship is thriving, solid and strong. This mindfulness exercise will recharge your heart, mind, body, and soul reaffirming your solidarity.
Here are some thankful starters to get you going, or you can create your own:
Be thankful you are with a person who decided life was better with you than without you.
Be thankful God released your mate when He did.
Be thankful knowing someone has your best interest at heart even when you can't seem to pull it together.
Be thankful you have someone to share your fears, shortcomings and concerns with.
Be thankful you have a partner who is going to push you, protect you, love you, challenge you and encourage you.
Be thankful you have someone to come home too.
Be thankful you have someone to cook for.
Be thankful you have someone who pays attention and knows when something is wrong.
Be thankful knowing you never have to make a decision alone.
Be thankful for balance.
Be thankful for unity.
Be thankful for the power of two becoming one.
In EVERY THING give thanks, for this is the will of God concerning you! 1Thessalonians 5:18.
Make sure you comment over at www.iamkenyatta.com I love to hear from you.
XO, Lady Kay
In this season "Greater is He" is your fall back plan. Many Americans are feeling the impact from the global pandemic. Many have falling into fear, panic and anxiety nervous about what is to come. The uncertainty of U.S. boarders, the presidential election, government changes, business shut downs, school closures and possible loss of constitutional rights is enough to make any human mind worry. In order to offer some comfort, let me what I believe God is about to do and what we must do to in order to make it out of this with our righteous minds.
Prayer, self-reflection, re-positioning, preparation and rest is the first measure in protecting your peace of mind. As new updates are released daily, it's easy to be overcome with anxiety and nervousness...In our human form it's a natural reaction. However, as believers we have to tap into the truth and seek God for wisdom. The word of God is always a lamp for our feet and a light on our path. When we can't see, trusting God's supersedes all else.
God will never leave you nor will He forsake you. We know Greater is He that is in us than he that is in the world. We know a thousand my fall at your side, and ten thousand at your right hand, BUT IT SHALL NOT COME NEAR YOU. We know ALL things work together for the good of those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.
We know there is nothing to hard for God! In this season of uncertainty, you never have to question Gods plan and power. You are never alone. You never have to fear. You never have to question if God is with you. You do however have to pray, prepare, rest and re-position.
If you start to feel overwhelmed or anxious - STOP - PRAY - REST - Re-POSITION (SPRR).
At the end of this, God will get the glory and we shall overcome. If you can't do or remember anything else, remember to cast your cares upon Him, for He cares for you! Call upon Him and He will answer. Seek Him and find Him.
Have a blessed week. Stay in peace, Stay well, Stay active and use SPRR when you start to forget who's you are. I promise it works if you work it. Please share and comment. I welcome your feedback. Let's keep the conversation going.
I love everything about you and there is nothing you can do about it!
Mental Heath is vital especially right now. It's your business to ensure you are taking care of yourself. For some this will be hard, however, you must learn to put yourself first. My advise...maintain your normal routine as much as possible or create a more beneficial routine (if you need help doing this, I am here to work with you).
Here are some ideas and tips to help you decrease feelings of depression and anxiety:
1. Shower and get dressed daily
2. Eat protein and veggies. No sugar!
3. Stay hydrated
4. Walk 30 min a day or some form of cardio. Get some Fresh air.
5. Hug 3 to 4 days daily
6. Cuddle when possible and often
7. Avoid negative social media. If you can't handle the media LOG OFF.
9. Get a plant or fresh flowers
10. Dance and sing out loud... have some fun.
11. Color, paint or scrapbook family photos
12. Garden or play in dirt
13. Pray, rejoice & give thanks TO GOD in all things everyday
For me, flowers are my normal. I keep fresh flowers..I love the way they smell. They instantly elevate my mood. I also do all of the suggestions above. It helps me to stay away from the blues. It's a conscious decision to create an environment where I can thrive and be well. I can't be well, if I am depressed and overwhelmed. So i shut it down, I bring my thoughts under submission to things that are of good report, positive and uplifting.
I am praying for you and want you to be well while we find ourselves in unchartered waters with "Da Rona".
My thing...if it make you happy, do it. If it makes you sad, don't do it.
Don't compromise your mental wellness. Be at peace and protect your sanity. Be sure to share and comment. Hugs!
Much love, light and peace,
#momentswithkay #flowertherapy #hellospring #fallforward #staywell #mentalwellness #mentalhealthtips #chooseToLive #EmbraceLife #fightforpeace #keepyourmindstayedonhim
Meet Lady Kay
Welcome to my blog. I am here to inspire and motivate my readers to enjoy life, heal and live their best lives. I invite you to join my tribe, read, comment and share. I respond to all comments.