Let’s get a few things straight...I am not perfect but perfectly imperfect.
I have red hair, I love soul music, I cuss when I get real mad (don't judge me), I love to have a good time, I enjoy traveling and living my life, I love a good bottle of wine and I LOVE GOD.
If you grew up with super religious parents or grandparents, it’s likely you adopted their religious pathology about what it means to be Christian and to love God. One of the biggest misnomers I’ve heard is, having fun is irresponsible and Christian’s should serve God, go to church, women should wear skirts and dresses, don’t laugh, don’t smile, look super saved, act holy, don’t hug too tight, roll your eyes and raise hell to let people know you are important...LOL Where is the God in this? The truth is old religious mentalities are not Biblical and they do not serve the Kingdom.
The definition of abundance is “Ample or very large quantities.”
It’s impossible to live in abundance, serve a big God and not have fun. Being super saved and highly minded (aka super saved) does not make you a better Christian, it does not draw people to God, and it does not mean you will go to heaven.
God’s love compels people to come unto Him. If people who have not yet come to Christ witness “God’s people” being uptight, mean, super religious, judgmental and unapproachable they will never come. Joyce Myer (I love her practical outlook on life and God’s word) talked about how she wished she would have done more things she loved throughout her life. She shared how she was deceived to think Christian’s should not enjoy life, live in abundance, and enjoy precious moments with family and friends that mean the most. I learned early that the God I grew up hearing about, was not the God I had a relationship with. Who is God to you? Who does God say you are and what you can have?
Repeat after me:
I CAN LOVE GOD AND LIVE A FUN FULLING LIFE, if I DECIDE TO DO SO.
I WILL TAKE MORE BREAKS AND NOT FEEL GUILTY.
I WLL LAUGH, SING, DANCE, SCREAM AND RUN without FEELing GUILTY.
I WILL MAKE EVERY MOMENT OF MY LIFE COUNT.
I WILL TRAVEL AND USE ALL MY VACATION TIME.
I WILL PUT MYSELF FIRST AND ENJOY GODS BOUNTY
I WILL TAKE MORE CHANCES ON MYSELF.
I WILL SPEND MONEY ON THINGS I LIKE AND DESIRE
I WILL NOT TAKE MYSELF OR LIFE TOO SERIOUSLY
I WILL ENJOY BEING ALIVE AND ENJOYING DOING ONLY WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY
When we declare statement like these over and over, eventually the things you speak will start to manifest. Our life is full of whatever you manifested. Think about what you tell yourself and see how your life lines up with what you speak.
My advice: Give yourself permission to do and be whatever you want. Just a few short months ago, God challenged me to focus on myself (a foreign act). I loved to serve, it’s a gift. I grew up serving with my grandmother in church. She was over the hospitality ministry (although that’s not what they called it back then). She cooked, cleaned and made everyone feel welcome. She might have cussed in the process, but she did everything grand, with heart and passion. I followed her footsteps and serving people and making them happy has always brought me joy.
When I stopped to think about the other things she did, I realized my grandmother lived. She was always the life of the party, she traveled, lived well, worked hard, and traveled. Looking back with adult eyes, my grandmother might have been the only person I saw enjoy life the way she did and for no other reason than because it’s what she wanted to do, and it brought her much joy.
As a young 30 something with no children and no husband – I am 100% determined to do whatever makes me happy. I’m determined to laugh, love, serve, travel, eat well, love God and whatever else I choose to do.
There is power in choice. A lot of people say, “I had to do this or that”, and I kindly tell them you never HAVE to do anything, but what you choose to do is totally up to you. You can’t choose to do something then get made about the choice you made. When someone asks me to do something and I’m not available; I kindly say I’m unavailable OR I refer them OR offer them other resources to research the information. In the past, I felt like I HAD TO DO IT which made the task a burden. The Bible talks about giving ungrudgingly. When you find yourself about to do something you really don’t want to do, it’s better to say NO than to do it grudgingly.
Give yourself grace.
Give yourself the best of you daily.
Embrace the word “No” without guilt.
Be a cheerful giver or don’t give it.
It’s OK to love God and have fun.
Abundance is your birthright.
Here’s to you and I living life and enjoying the journey. Thank you for your time and a chance to share space and love. I’m always grateful for your time.
My Fat Girl Confession:
I have been a big girl most of my adult life. The Yo-Yo weight has been a problem since 2005. I was diagnosed with Crohns decease 2004 and lost over 100lbs. I thought I was going to die; it took the medial professionals almost a year to diagnosis me. They finally got the right doctor, diagnosis and medications... praise God I am still here.
2006 ended my college relationship with someone I loved deeply, and thought would be my forever. Shortly after, I decided this was the perfect time to go away to grad school. I moved to Washington, D.C. and life was good for a change. I keep my weight down. Living in the city was good for me. It was nothing to walk 10 blocks or more a day. Every corner had healthy food options and if you ate something that wasn’t too heathy, by the time you walked home, to work or the train depot you burned those calories right off. I had active friends and family. The whole situation was just better, but then life hit and I was reminded of my auto-immune disease.
2009 I was forced to moved back to NC during a very bad Crohns flare. I could not take care of myself, couldn’t walk and steps were a NO-NO. After returning to NC - BOOM – the weight I was able to keep off in the city is back. 2014-2015, I drop 100lbs over the span of a year and BOOM – maybe a year later I gained it right back. Present day, I’m at the heaviest weight I’ve ever been (which is frustrating) however, I decided about 40 days ago that I deserve the best of me.
What does that mean? I evaluated my habits, triggers and patterns. The thing that stuck out the most was my need to help, serve and be there for others. I have a long history of taking care of everyone else BUT ME.
I read a book (I read a lot now) that talked about Yo-Yo weight. The author talked about how there are different ways to sow and reap. I love the art of sowing and reaping so this got my attention. The author suggested sowing self-control into your spirit and asking God to show you triggers with food and allow Him to heal you.
When I read this, a light went off and I said this can work. No matter what you sow you will reap (that's the law). So, every time my mind starts thinking about foods I can’t have or that aren’t good for me, I say “I deserve the best of me and I right now I choose to sow self-control into myself”. True enough, it works. Renewing my mind has been very helpful. This new revelation about sowing and reaping really blessed me and I hope it will bless you as well.
If you struggle with yo-yo weight or weight at all, you are not alone. 80% of people who have lost weight regain all of it or more after two years. Not very encouraging however, knowledge is power. In order to do better you have to know better and once you know better and do better you can reach back and teach someone else. It’s the circle of life.
I am committed to giving myself the best of me no matter what it takes. I have stopped doing a lot of things I did before because I need me right now. And the truth is no one is going to take better care of me than me besides my mama. Which is why, for now, it’s all about me.
Being fat was never a big deal, I mastered how to be fat. Now I am ready to master being healthy. Weight has been my number one struggle my entire life. I don’t do drugs, I don’t drink, I don’t gamble, I don’t smoke but I do love a good piece of cake LOL.
No matter what your thing is, choose to love you more and sow into yourself. Help you, save you, sow into you; they say life is short and they are right. Make every day the best day of the rest of your life and give yourself the best of you each and every day.
Here’s to us learning, growing and changing so we can live and lead full lives. I hope I have earned the pleasure of your time. I am always grateful when you stop by my blog. Be sure to comment and share.
Power Payer - Father, thank you for loving me when we didn’t’ know how to love myself. Thank you for giving me another chance to get it right. Help me Lord to seek you first in all I do, say and eat. Give me a hunger for heathy living. Change my taste buds and give me strength to sow goodness, self-control, kindness and self-love in my souls and body that I might reap a great harvest which leads to a long and full life. In the Mighty name of Jesus, Amen.
I hated kale for a long time, but now as an #AlmostVegan, I am falling deeply in love with this high protein vitamin packed super food. This warm kale salad remix is a tribute from my mountain trip. I enjoyed this dish at Kaye's Kitchen and I had to try my hand at it.
I was shocked at how easy it was to remix. Take a look and give it a try.
Kale (Fresh or bagged)
Roasted Sweet Potato
Roasted Pumpkin Seed
Fresh Lemon Juice
I hope you enjoy. This is a summer love of mine and I am full of joy to share it. Be sure to let me know if you try this and how it turns out.
Two words - Kaye’s Kitchen, "Where Good Friends and Great Food Meet".
There are a few things I love about traveling, top on the list; local people and local food. My last visit to the High Country led me to the tiny town of Newland, NC. Growing up, I always got excited when I received a gift in tiny box. I learned two things, don’t despise tiny boxes and don’t judge a book by its cover. Newland, NC was tiny with a big gift. At first glance there wasn’t much to get excited about... until I stumbled upon a tiny 5-star hidden gem, with a 5-star owner, local people and fresh mind-blowing food.
Kaye’s Kitchen is a culinary favorite offering locally grown, made to order mouthwatering dishes, a large variety of wines and in-house baked goods. Also, on the menu are warm hugs and inviting smiles that greet you at the door. The entire vibe is warm and cozy with wood tones and lite scents of expresso in the air. It feels like home away from home; I hated to leave.
After being seated, I looked at the menu and immediately grew excited with the size of the menu. I knew whatever I ordered would be fresh and amazing. How did I know? I’m glad you asked; it’s simple. I’ve watched enough Kitchen Rescue to know when a menu is too large, it’s highly likely the food is not fresh or local. For starters, I ordered a beautiful lump crab cake with a fresh peppery salad. The crab cake was well seasoned, moist and full of crab (I ordered one to go – it was that good).
For dinner, I indulged in the beautifully grilled salmon served with a warm kale salad mixed with roasted sweet potato, pumpkin seeds, ginger and dried cranberry (just take that in for a moment), the smell alone was enough to take my breath away. To taste this dish was divine, I think it’s the best thing I’ve eaten all year. The portions were plentiful and for the price point, the value is defiantly there.
Before dinner was over, Kaye made sure to come by the table. She is absolutely beautiful inside out. She was kind enough to pose for a photo capturing this moment in my memory forever. We connected on several levels…she use to be a red head, I’m a red head…that alone bonded us LOL.
My next visit to the High Country you can bet I’ll be at Kaye’s Kitchen ordering every entree on the menu for a mind-blowing mega tasting for a Queen (you should join me, it will be fun). Through my travels I’ve learned taking advantage of every moment and opportunity is necessary. Never be afraid to have new experiences, taste new foods, meet a new friend and never talk yourself out of doing something you really want to do. Life is short, you only live once – Go for it.
I hope you plan to travel to the High Country soon. Be sure to make a stop by Kaye’s Kitchen. Tell her I sent you, she will be happy to see you.
Here's to good friends and good food...Happy Travels,
WHO LIED TO YOU SIS?????????
My grandmother use to say, "A lie don't care who tell it" and she was right. Lies hurt, hinder and hold people captive. Lies can change the course of a person life before they know what hit them. How so? So glad you asked:
When someone (a loved one, the media, peers, a mate...etc) lies to you long enough, you start believing it. Sometimes lies come from other people and other times lies come from within. We lie to ourselves to avoid painful realities because it's easier. Some people lie to avoid from hurting others and to avoid conflict.
Take me for example, I lied to myself for years making myself believe I would never find love, I'd never marry because of my size. I was suspect of men who showed interest in me and it was hard to trust their intentions. I told myself this lie to avoid being hurt. After meeting a beautiful man who loved me for me, I had to learn how to accept a new truth that set me free: I was worthy of love and all good things.
When I lived in D.C., a friend invited me to a workshop. The workshop changed my life. I learned something very powerful and I am going to share it with you. But before I do, you have to understand the process. I had to learn who lied to me so I could kill the lie and free myself. I learned most of the lies I was harboring I created myself - Ain't that some mess...LOL. But it was true. I was holding myself back from what I wanted because I convinced myself Love would never happen for me. Once I decided to learn a new truth -The Freedom I felt was exhausting - so much so I fainted...(LOL). I literally fainted.
Self Reflection Work:
Who lied to you?
Who told you that you could not be or do something?
Who said you were not good enough?
Who lied and said you didn't matter?
Who lied & told you that you were fat and unworthy of love?
Who lied & cursed your womb?
Who lied & said that you would die before your time?
Who lied & said you didn't deserve more than what you have now.
Who lied & said you would die unfulfilled and feeling unloved and unwanted?
If I didn't hit your lie or the lie someone told to you...fill in the blank for yourself, but whatever lie they told you...toss that crap in the trash. It is not your job to hold onto or carry lies that someone told you. Nor are you to create lies to protect yourself. The truth will always make you free, trust me!
The Truth Will Make You Free
The truth is you are a child of the most high God. God desires for you to be in health and to prosper.
The devil is the father of lies. You have the power to "Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; (2 Cor. 10:5). But if you don't know the word of God you are powerless and unable to fight the devil when he attacks. You must know how to fight in order to keep your peace and joy.
God wants the best for us. He loves to see His children thriving and living abundantly. We have to make a choice to live above and not beneath. We have to choose what we believe. God has placed greatness inside each of us for His glory. We have to stop thinking small and trust God's plan for our lives. So if you are someone who has settled with the status quo and you think this is the best you can do - or maybe you don't see yourself as powerful, beautiful and capable of doing all things through Christ; I offer you this:
Through Christ you can do all things. God can do any thing but fail. God created us in His image which means if we seek Him and read His word, He has the blueprints for our lives to be great - You have to decide for yourself to walk in the light of all truth which is God the Father.
So, here is what I learned at the workshop:
I learned "I am a powerful, loving and caring healer". Just having to say it out loud made me weep. For so long, the devil made me believe I was unworthy of the call on my life. The workshop helped me see myself for the first time without doubt. I can stand firmly and say I was born with great purpose and no one can do what I was born to do. I learned the power within. I learned that my voice matters and people want to hear what I have to say.
I hope I have earned the pleasure of your time. I don't take it for granted when you take time to read my blog. I love to share and inspire you. It's apart of my purpose & I am so excited when you engage and comment. To leave a comment just click my picture.
Here's to us living in truth and light,
Power Prayer: Father, thank you for removing the scales from my eyes so I might see the truth about who I am according to your word. Thank you for keeping me even in my unbelief. I now believe I was born with great purpose. Thank you for helping me become the best version of me I can be. Help me to renew my mind daily to become more like you. Thank you for giving me new sight where I was once blind. Thank you for loving me in and out of season. I am excited about who I get to be when I choose to know the truth which makes me free, In Jesus name, Amen.
This Weeks Inbox Question:
"How do I work on changing my perception about myself? I hate my body, I'm not happy with myself. I don't like what I see when I look in the mirror. I don't know who I am. I am not as pretty as other women. I feel ugly. I need help. What do it do?"
Over the last month, women have messaged me with similar statements and questions like the ones above. Being a woman is tough. We are hard on ourselves without help from anyone. Women suffer with the "superwoman complex" which is an self-imposed unrealistic expectation to perform under pressure, take a licking and keep on ticking mentality along with the illusion woman can do everything.
My Response and Advice:
The Hard Questions
Answering these questions might require counseling or coaching:
1. Who does God say you are? What is your God given purpose? What are you pretending not to know about who you were born to be. Is it hard to see yourself in a positive light, if yes, why?
2. Who gets to determine how you feel about yourself? What or who influences your thoughts about you? Who told you you weren't pretty, worthy of love and deserving of an abundant life? Who hurt you? Who do you need to forgive? Are you ready to move on with your life? Are you ready to do something different in order to manifest something new?
1. Recite positive affirmations and pray God's word everyday (Very Important).
2. Speak life about yourself and situation (Avoid Negative Talk).
3. Evaluate your circle and make changes as needed.
4. Ask for help and accountability from someone you trust to support you.
5. Know you have the power to change but it will require dedication & hard work.
6. Be open to counseling and or coaching if you aren't't able to process this alone.
7. Forgive yourself for your mistakes & move on; no one is perfect.
8. Start a journal.
9. Find new hobbies and occupy your time with things you enjoy.
10. Give back - Give yourself purpose by investing time in something greater than yourself.
11. Learn to Trust yourself and your instincts (Very Important)
12. Give Yourself credit for the small things. Celebrate every victory...
My prayer for you is that you will allow God to love you past your pain, deepest fears & emotional wounds. Let His love heal you and make you new from the inside out. Renew your mind daily with the Word of God and choose to believe that you are the apple of His eye. You have been bought with a price and Jesus is always with you. Know that He desires for you to live in abundance and be in health. Find yourself in His reflection and truth and let your light shine.
As always, I hope I have earned the pleasure of your time, thank you for being here.
Have a beautiful day - Share Love, Grace & Kindness to yourself first & others second.
Stronger, Wiser, Better; But Don't Test Me!
#Share #Comment #Like #JoinMyTribe #SmileBecauseYouCan
I neglected myself for years in the name of pursuing “my life’s purpose” caring for, pushing, supporting and encouraging others. Girls who grow into women are taught to serve and cater to others. We are taught to sit pretty, cross your leg at the ankle, chew small bites, don’t spit, be polite, smile, be seen not heard; we learned how to cook and clean, sow, keep house and be strong. The generational mentally of serving and surviving was passed down like a badge of honor.
Learning to love yourself is a personal journey. Women often find themselves in positions as a result of indirectly making choices based on childhood values that say put others before yourself. The older I get, the wiser I become. It’s a fact I have been called to serve. As a leader, I was taught the first duty is to serve. I love to serve, and I’m great at it. Here’s the kicker - - I had to come to terms with the fact it’s necessary to serve and ensure my wellbeing before I can do it for someone else. This is the part most women never learn or they learn it late in life.
For years, I willfully neglected myself in every way you can think of. It was easier to focus on others vs. dealing with my issues; the biggest of all, my weight. I've been fat my whole life. I was content being fat, it didn't keep me from doing what I wanted, I wasn't sick so I just kept going. I ignored a few things and prayed God would keep me. Afraid to go to the doctor because I knew if there was bad news, it would be my fault. I focused on helping others ignoring my needs. I’m sure God honored my service, however, I forgot to honor myself.
After several months of feeling stuck and unfulfilled – I came to terms with what was festering in the back of my mental closet. Once I accepted how unhealthy I was and came to terms with my mental, spiritual, physical and emotional posture, it was easier to make small changes. Creating a new normal is never-ending. I am in the infant stages of becoming a healthier me, so I can be a better for those I love and for those whom I am called to serve.
There is liberation in self-care.
These are my personal daily reminders – Feel free to use what you need and share the rest:
Coming to terms with unhealthy behaviors requires honesty. Being honest with yourself about your needs, health and goals is important. The road to healing and wholeness is not easy, but you must go through the process. Every day renew your mind with God’s word and recite positive affirmations. Take it one day at a time and remember to be good to yourself. 28 days of consistent behavior modifications leads to consistent outcomes and positive life changes.
As always, it is an honor to have earned the pleasure of your time. Be good to yourself. Life is a journey, live everyday like it's your last and take nothing and no one for granted.
My prayer for you this week: Focus on yourself, your goals, and Gods plan for your life. It’s honorable to help others but taking care of yourself is God’s will, in Jesus name, Amen.
Here’s to God & Coffee!
Have a great week,
#Share #Like #Subscribe #Comment
I needed a break months ago. Like most people I put it off several times. But, today here I am practicing what I preach! This next 6 months I’ll be 100% focused on ME - MYSELF & I! Over the last 6 years I’ve learned a lot about what’s important. With age comes wisdom. The biggest lesson to date is; you MUST decided what is Essential for YOUR life! Once I did, my journey unfolded in a beautiful way creating a new path towards greater greatness. Life can be sweet & simple! Don’t over complicate the essence of LESS IS MORE! Take it from me, IT AIN’T PRETTY now is it essential. If it does not serve you; disengage! It’s that simple.
I challenged you to Make the rest of your year...life, and everyday hereafter worth living. Do all the things you keep putting off for next year. Stop feeding yourself the lie that you have to be at a certain place in life or have a certain amount of money saved before you do XYZ! Travel, see new places. Get the tattoo. Marry him/her. Cash out your 401K and invest in that business. Whatever your thing is...do it! The number one thing people take for granted is LIFE! Tomorrow is NOT promised...do today what is essential...tomorrow will take care of itself! Are you ready to live and do what is essential?
💋 #LadyKayNC #PowerPlusMoment#DoTheEssential #LiveWorthy #GodHasGreater #TrustTheProcess
Acknowledge. Cope. Heal.
Working Through Depression
by: Kenyatta Johnson
Live long enough and depression will knock at your door and before you know it, it's sitting on your couch, eating your food and sleeping in your bed. 1 out of 10 people suffer in silence with depression. Depression can be triggered by negative life changing events such as death of a loved one, loss of a job, financial stress, unhealthy relationships, low self-esteem or it can be a chemical imbalance in the brain.
No matter what your story is, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Getting help at the onset is key to learning ways to cope and heal. Working with people experiencing depression, the number one thing that keeps them from treatment is pride. The reality is you have to fight for your life and mental well-being. Although depression is common, it's not something you have to suffer through alone. Getting help is the first step. Learning to cope with depression is a choice. Depression can be overwhelming, it will make you think you are crazy, but YOU ARE NOT.
There is no shame in asking for help and there is no shame in being depressed. More than 50% of the worlds population is or has been depressed.
Depression is depression. Coping and healing is a choice.
Depression has knocked on my door many times and sometimes I welcomed him in. Then there are times where depressed slips in and before you know...BAM, it gut punched you. Either way, I had to take an active roll is getting help. As a retired mental health professional, I know the signs and what to do and look for, however, that does not exempt me from self-care. I know a lot of professionals in the medical and mental health field who put there mental health to the side and pay dearly for it. Don't let that be your story!
How do you know when you're depressed?
Here are a few tips to help you work through depression:
1. Acknowledge - Don't live in denial about your depression. It will only make it worse. It's OK to acknowledge you are depressed. If you can't acknowledge it, you can heal it.
2. Get Help - Therapy is a great way to process and work through depressive moods.
3. Be Open - Some levels of depression require a combinations of treatments. More severe depression might require medication and therapy. Be open to the idea and know there is nothing wrong with either.
4. Open the Blinds and Let in the Sun - avoid dark spaces.
5. Walking or Exercise - Walking is a great way to find your happy place.
6. Deep Breathing - A few minutes daily of breathing deeply from your belly, holding in and out for 8 seconds, is a powerful agent. When your body is not getting steady oxygen, noxious gases build up in your blood, triggering anxiety and fight-or-flight reflexes in your nervous system.
7. Avoid Being Alone - Engage with people even if you have to force yourself. Being isolated is the worse thing you can do when you are depressed.
8. Avoid Sugar - it's not good depressed or not. Sugar makes you crash. When you crash off sugar while depressed it will make you feel worse.
9. Find a Cause Bigger than you - Give yourself purpose through service to others. It's a great way to take your mind off self. Helping other naturally will make you feel better.
10. Positive Affirmations- What you say and think about yourself and your situation is what you will manifest. Speak life no matter how you feel. If you are sad, say "I choose to be happy...I am happy" and keep saying it until it becomes the truth.
And above all. PRAY, READ THE WORD OF GOD, It will be a lamp until thy feet and light to thy path. God is always with you even when you don't feel Him. And if you can't pray for yourself, ask someone to pray with you.
I hope this was helpful. Subscribe, comment and Share.
Have a beautiful day and Get out and get some fresh air!
A few tips:
Light & love, Lady Kay ♥️
Welcome to Kay's Korner..I hope you connect, create and find transparency, love and encouragement here. I am here for you and me! Let's make everyday worth living.