WHO LIED TO YOU SIS?????????
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My grandmother use to say, "A lie don't care who tell it" and she was right. Lies hurt, hinder and hold people captive. Lies can change the course of a person life before they know what hit them. How so? So glad you asked:

When someone (a loved one, the media, peers, a mate...etc)  lies to you long enough, you start believing it. Sometimes lies come from other people and other times lies come from within. We lie to ourselves to avoid painful realities because it's easier. Some people lie to avoid from hurting others and to avoid conflict.

Take me for example, I lied to myself for years making myself believe I would never find love, I'd never marry because of my size. I was suspect of men who showed interest in me and it was hard to trust their intentions. I told myself this lie to avoid being hurt. After meeting a beautiful man who loved me for me,  I had to learn how to accept a new truth that set me free: I was worthy of love and all good things. 

When I lived in D.C., a friend invited me to a workshop.  The workshop changed my life. I learned something very powerful and I am going to share it with you. But before I do, you have to understand the process. I had to learn who lied to me so I could kill the lie and free myself. I learned most of the lies I was harboring I created myself - Ain't that some mess...LOL. But it was true. I was holding myself back from what I wanted because I convinced myself Love would never happen for me. Once I decided to learn a new truth -The Freedom I felt was exhausting - so much so I fainted...(LOL). I literally fainted. 

Self Reflection Work:  
Who lied to you? 
Who told you that you could not be or do something? 
Who said you were not good enough? 
Who lied and said you didn't matter? 
Who lied & told you that you were fat and unworthy of love? 
Who lied & cursed your womb? 
Who lied & said that you would die before your time? 
Who lied & said you didn't deserve more than what you have now. 
Who lied & said you would die unfulfilled and feeling unloved and unwanted? 

If I didn't hit your lie or the lie someone told to you...fill in the blank for yourself, but whatever lie they told you...toss that crap in the trash. It is not your job to hold onto or carry lies that someone told you. Nor are you to create lies to protect yourself. The truth will always make you free, trust me!

The Truth Will Make You Free 
The truth is you are a child of the most high God. God desires for you to be in health and to prosper.

The devil is the father of lies. You have the power to "Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; (2 Cor. 10:5). But if you don't know the word of God you are powerless and unable to fight the devil when he attacks. You must know how to fight in order to keep your peace and joy. 

God wants the best for us. He loves to see His children thriving and living abundantly. We have to make a choice to live above and not beneath. We have to choose what we believe. God has placed greatness inside each of us for His glory. We have to stop thinking small and trust God's plan for our lives. So if you are someone who has settled with the status quo and you think this is the best you can do - or maybe you don't see yourself as powerful, beautiful and capable of doing all things through Christ; I offer you this: 

Through Christ you can do all things. God can do any thing but fail. God created us in His image which means if we seek Him and read His word, He has the blueprints for our lives to be great - You have to decide for yourself to walk in the light of all truth which is God the Father.

So, here is what I learned at the workshop: 

I learned "I am a powerful, loving and caring healer". Just having to say it out loud made me weep. For so long, the devil made me believe I was unworthy of the call on my life. The workshop helped me see myself for the first time without doubt. I can stand firmly and say I was born with great purpose and no one can do what I was born to do. I learned the power within. I learned that my voice matters and people want to hear what I have to say. 


I hope I have earned the pleasure of your time. I don't take it for granted when you take time to read my blog. I love to share and inspire you. It's apart of my purpose & I am so excited when you engage and comment. To leave a comment just click my picture. 

Here's to us living in truth and light, 

Lady Kay 

​Power Prayer: Father, thank you for removing the scales from my eyes so I might see the truth about who I am according to your word. Thank you for keeping me even in my unbelief. I now believe I was born with great purpose. Thank you for helping me become the best version of me I can be. Help me to renew my mind daily to become more like you. Thank you for giving me new sight where I was once blind. Thank you for loving me in and out of season. I am excited about who I get to be when I choose to know the truth which makes me free, In Jesus name, Amen. 

This Weeks Inbox Question:
"How do I work on changing my perception about myself? I hate my body, I'm not happy with myself. I don't like what I see when I look in the mirror. I don't know who I am. I am not as pretty as other women. I feel ugly. I need help. What do it do?"

Over the last month, women have messaged me with similar statements and questions like the ones above. Being a woman is tough. We are hard on ourselves without help from anyone. Women suffer with the "superwoman complex" which is an self-imposed unrealistic expectation to perform under pressure, take a licking and keep on ticking mentality along with the illusion woman can do everything. 

                                                                   My Response and Advice: 
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The Hard Questions
Answering these questions might require counseling or coaching:

1. Who does God say you are? What is your God given purpose? What are you pretending not to know about who you were born to be. Is it hard to see yourself in a positive light, if yes, why? 
2. Who gets to determine how you feel about yourself? What or who influences your thoughts about you? Who told you you weren't pretty, worthy of love and deserving of an abundant life? Who hurt you? Who do you need to forgive? Are you ready to move on with your life?  Are you ready to do something different in order to manifest something new? 

Self-Love Tips: 
1. Recite positive affirmations and pray God's word everyday (Very Important).
2. Speak life about yourself and situation (Avoid Negative Talk).
3. Evaluate your circle and make changes as needed.
4. Ask for help and accountability from someone you trust to support you.
5. Know you have the power to change but it will require dedication & hard work.
6. Be open to counseling and or coaching if you aren't't able to process this alone. 
7. Forgive yourself for your mistakes & move on; no one is perfect. 
8. Start a journal. 
9. Find new hobbies and occupy your time with things you enjoy. 
10. Give back - Give yourself purpose by investing time in something greater than yourself. 
11. Learn to Trust yourself and your instincts (Very Important) 
12. Give Yourself credit for the small things. Celebrate every victory...

My prayer for you is that you will allow God to love you past your pain, deepest fears & emotional wounds. Let His love heal you and make you new from the inside out. Renew your mind daily with the Word of God and choose to believe that you are the apple of His eye. You have been bought with a price and Jesus is always with you. Know that He desires for you to live in abundance and be in health. Find yourself in His reflection and truth and let your light shine. 

As always, I hope I have earned the pleasure of your time, thank you for being here. 

Have a beautiful day - Share Love, Grace & Kindness to yourself first & others second. 

Stronger, Wiser, Better; But Don't Test Me! 
 
XO, 
Lady Kay 

#Share #Comment #Like #JoinMyTribe #SmileBecauseYouCan 

 I neglected myself for years in the name of pursuing “my life’s purpose” caring for, pushing, supporting and encouraging others. Girls who grow into women are taught to serve and cater to others. We are taught to sit pretty, cross your leg at the ankle, chew small bites, don’t spit, be polite, smile, be seen not heard; we learned how to cook and clean, sow, keep house and be strong. The generational mentally of serving and surviving was passed down like a badge of honor.  
 
Learning to love yourself is a personal journey. Women often find themselves in positions as a result of indirectly making choices based on childhood values that say put others before yourself. The older I get, the wiser I become. It’s a fact I have been called to serve. As a leader, I was taught the first duty is to serve. I love to serve, and I’m great at it. Here’s the kicker - - I had to come to terms with the fact it’s necessary to serve and ensure my wellbeing before I can do it for someone else. This is the part most women never learn or they learn it late in life. 
 
For years, I willfully neglected myself in every way you can think of. It was easier to focus on others vs. dealing with my issues; the biggest of all, my weight. I've been fat my whole life. I was content being fat, it didn't keep me from doing what I wanted, I wasn't sick so I just kept going. I ignored a few things and prayed God would keep me. Afraid to go to the doctor because I knew if there was bad news, it would be my fault. I focused on helping others ignoring my needs. I’m sure God honored my service, however, I forgot to honor myself. 

After several months of feeling stuck and unfulfilled – I came to terms with what was festering in the back of my mental closet. Once I accepted how unhealthy I was and came to terms with my mental, spiritual, physical and emotional posture, it was easier to make small changes. Creating a new normal is never-ending. I am in the infant stages of becoming a healthier me, so I can be a better for those I love and for those whom I am called to serve.
 
There is liberation in self-care.

These are my personal daily reminders – Feel free to use what you need and share the rest:

1. I am Human – I am not superman or superwoman.  It’s my responsibility to take care of myself. I am committed to giving myself the best of me unapologetically.
2. I am a Gift - Everything I was born to be and the reality to match is within. I am unworthy yet God loves me no matter what. I have sinned and fallen short. No sin is greater than the next. I am forgiven. Neglecting myself is sin.  God chose me, He created me, and He crafted me in His image. No one can do what I was born to do. I will own my power and get right within. 
3. I Deserve the Best of Me - NO MATTER what happens, I am 100% responsible for YOURSELF. Everything I do is a choice and a reflection of how I value myself. 
4. I Will Let God Lead Me - Order my steps Lord. God is always waiting. I can call Him and by faith I know He will answer. I am never alone.
5. No Excuses - No Validation - The biggest mistake people make is the overuse of excuses and the tantalizing need for validation. The only validation I need is from the word of GOD. I will not conform! 
   
   Always remember - You don't need or require the approval of others. You are a gift. Your life is a gift. There are people waiting for you that need you to effectively utilize your gifts. Get aligned and move towards wholeness. You are worth the fight.

 
Coming to terms with unhealthy behaviors requires honesty. Being honest with yourself about your needs, health and goals is important. The road to healing and wholeness is not easy, but you must go through the process. Every day renew your mind with God’s word and recite positive affirmations. Take it one day at a time and remember to be good to yourself. 28 days of consistent behavior modifications leads to consistent outcomes and positive life changes.
 
As always, it is an honor to have earned the pleasure of your time. Be good to yourself. Life is a journey, live everyday like it's your last and take nothing and no one for granted.

My prayer for you this week: Focus on yourself, your goals, and Gods plan for your life. It’s honorable to help others but taking care of yourself is God’s will, in Jesus name, Amen.

Here’s to God & Coffee!

Have a great week,
Lady Kay  

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I needed a break months ago. Like most people I put it off several times. But, today here I am practicing what I preach! This next 6 months I’ll be 100% focused on ME - MYSELF & I! Over the last 6 years I’ve learned a lot about what’s important. With age comes wisdom. The biggest lesson to date is; you MUST decided what is Essential for YOUR life! Once I did, my journey unfolded in a beautiful way creating a new path towards greater greatness. Life can be sweet & simple! Don’t over complicate the essence of LESS IS MORE! Take it from me, IT AIN’T PRETTY now is it essential. If it does not serve you; disengage! It’s that simple. 
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I challenged you to Make the rest of your year...life, and everyday hereafter worth living. Do all the things you keep putting off for next year. Stop feeding yourself the lie that you have to be at a certain place in life or have a certain amount of money saved before you do XYZ! Travel, see new places. Get the tattoo. Marry him/her. Cash out your 401K and invest in that business. Whatever your thing is...do it! The number one thing people take for granted is LIFE! Tomorrow is NOT promised...do today what is essential...tomorrow will take care of itself! Are you ready to live and do what is essential? 
💋 #LadyKayNC #PowerPlusMoment#DoTheEssential #LiveWorthy #GodHasGreater #TrustTheProcess

Acknowledge. Cope. Heal. 
Working Through Depression 
by: Kenyatta Johnson 

Live long enough and depression will knock at your door and before you know it, it's sitting on your couch, eating your food and sleeping in your bed. 1 out of 10 people suffer in silence with depression. Depression can be triggered by negative life changing events such as death of a loved one, loss of a job, financial stress, unhealthy relationships, low self-esteem or it can be a chemical imbalance in the brain.

No matter what your story is, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Getting help at the onset is key to learning ways to cope and heal.  Working with people experiencing depression, the number one thing that keeps them from treatment is pride.  The reality is you have to fight for your life and mental well-being. Although depression is common, it's not something you have to suffer through alone. Getting help is the first step. Learning to cope with depression is a choice. Depression can be overwhelming, it will make you think you are crazy, but YOU ARE NOT.

There is no shame in asking for help and there is no shame in being depressed. More than 50% of the worlds population is or has been depressed. 

Depression is depression. Coping and healing is a choice. 

Depression has knocked on my door many times and sometimes I welcomed him in. Then there are times where depressed slips in and before you know...BAM, it gut punched you. Either way, I had to take an active roll is getting help. As a retired mental health professional, I know the signs and what to do and look for, however, that does not exempt me from self-care. I know a lot of professionals in the medical and mental health field who put there mental health to the side and pay dearly for it. Don't let that be your story! 


How do you know when you're depressed? 

• Feelings of sadness, tearfulness, emptiness or hopelessness
• Angry outbursts, irritability or frustration, even over small matters
• Loss of interest or pleasure in most or all normal activities, such as sex, hobbies or sports
• Sleep disturbances, including insomnia or sleeping too much
• Tiredness and lack of energy, so even small tasks take extra effort
• Reduced appetite and weight loss or increased cravings for food and weight gain
• Anxiety, agitation or restlessness
• Slowed thinking, speaking or body movements
• Feelings of worthlessness or guilt, fixating on past failures or self-blame
• Trouble thinking, concentrating, making decisions and remembering things
• Frequent or recurrent thoughts of death, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts or suicide
• Unexplained physical problems, such as back pain or headaches

A few tips: 

• Everyday make a choice to be thankful & grateful. 
• Pray for guidance. 
• Focus on the positive & speak living words. 
• Tap into something greater than yourself. 
• Find ways to give back. 
• Smile. 
• Get plenty of rest. 
• Stay active. 
• Learn the power of NO!
• Learn what is essential & only do what is essential. 
• Discern more and do less! 
• Stay accountable for your happiness & life! 
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From me to you; cheers to a great week.

Light & love, Lady Kay ♥️

FFFWEEK 10 year celebration was epic. It’s just that simple. How can you be in NY and not have a good time?The weather was perfect & the sky was blue. My fight to NY was great; the young lady next to me was from Greensboro. She moved to NY for a change of pace, as we continued talking she shared how she has been afraid to live her passion. In my head, I asked the Lord if He was playing tricks on me & of course He said no. After listening to her, I shared the quick version of my story and told her to "Come to herself". Before leaving the plan she looked back and said thank you with a warm smile I responded Go Live Your Life! 

Thirty minutes and $50 later, the UBER driver who talked all the way from the Bronx to Manhattan dropped me off at my home for the week and man-oh-man was I glad to step into a peaceful & quiet space...LOL. I almost had a moment  like the character in "Daddy's Little Girl". When Julia told the driver she did not want to fraternize... LOL. But I kept my cool and let him talk. Afterwards, I found the rooftop of my building, had the best Georgia peach of my life & took a nap. Once  my travel boo Tiearny arrived we did what we do best, we did NY. 

But wait... Before we met, I left the rooftop in search of a bathroom. The building where our condo was located didn't have a public bathroom. I looked around and almost said a few choice words or a not so nice nature. I immediately started walking to the closest corner in hopes of finding a facility; I went into  different shops and no one had a public bathroom. Mind you, in NC bathrooms are required if you serve food. I don't know where the employees use the bathroom in NY, but I was 99 HOT and I have to tinkle. I don't know what happened when i turned thirty something...but whatever happened, happened. After Dunkin Donuts disappointed me, there was a salad shop across the street. Through the glass I could see a bathroom sign on the door. What a perfect match, a salad and restroom under one roof! As you can imagine, after being angry my emotional state lifted and all was well with the world again. Ha! 

So let's get into FFFWEEK! 

Gwen DeVoe, founder of FFFWEEK never disappoints. I remember learning about FFFWEEK three years ago, saying "I’m going". The time came and quickly went; unable to attend 2016, I had to settle with the fact it was not my time. I told myself that next year, I'm going and I'm going to sponsor and guess what? I did both! As an event producer, we make hard decisions, invest blood - sweat and tears into people and production. A lot of people think it's an easy thing you can put together in a day...2 days. News flash, it takes months and sometimes a little over a year. Needless to say I have huge respect and love for Mrs. Gwen, I could write all day about how in such a short time, she has really changed my life for the better. Let this be a lesson to you, if the people you allow into your life don't make you a better individual, why are you allowing them to take residence?  

The gag is, people say women don’t work well together, women don’t support each other…All Lies.  I met Gwen through the power of social media and knew immediately she was all things business and beautiful. My Bible says you know the spirit by the spirit, and I feel blessed to call her friend to this day. She welcomed me in, offered me great advice and she sponsored one of my events in 2015 before we ever met face-to-face. As leaders and women we have to know we are strong together! When you win, I win and I want all the people I love to win. Business & life combined are hard enough there is no reason why anyone should choose to make it harder. I get so much joy from supporting my sister friends across the globe. It’s a beautiful thing and I am looking forward to even more.

It’s a great feeling to find a place you can call home. The plus community has become my family and within it I’ve meet great people I call friend. Learning about FFFWEEK happened at a pivotal point in my life. I was working hard in NC to build a platform for plus women to shine showcasing their talents. With 15 years of production experience, a lot of people don’t know that I am a thespian and love the arts. I saw a need in my community and created I Rock My Curves the best in 2013 as an awareness and empowerment brand. As the years went by I started wondering what am I going to do next? Do people appreciate this opportunity? I was getting burned out, I was losing money and at the end of each production I’m left holding the bag full of questions and receipts. The one thing I wished my community appreciated more was the arts. For three of the 5 years, we would be in production season for 9 out of 12 months to prepare for our annual show. That’s a lot of time, money and energy. But after connecting with others in the community, listening and following the path God has for me, I was excited about what was to come.

FFFWEEK has been many things to many people. The platform has changed a lot of people lives. The heart, purpose and vision of FFFWEEK is what I think drew me to it. I saw the bigger picture. To be in any industry for 10 years is a huge accomplishment. Each year as a producer you try to outdo yourself every year offering your guest an enjoyable and memorable experience. If you missed the 10 year celebration, you missed a good one. This year was like FFFWEEK homecoming. The people you love were happy to see you and you were glad to see them. The events and workshops were well planned and there was something for everyone to enjoy and let’s not forget the white cruise. Some of y’all tried it this year…LOL. The cruise always sells out; there were many broken hearts when the post went up SOLD OUT. Gwen gave plenty of time for everyone to lock in a ticket…Don’t play around next time, get those tickets early.

One thing I love about life...is relationships. Relationships mean a lot to me. I feel super blessed to have several subfamilies within my community. This year I was honored to represent Big Fig Mattress at FFFWEEK. It’s always great to do what you love with the people you love. I tell people all the time, Big Fig is my family; Andrew, McKinzie and Lisa are the new homies. They have a great team and even better than that their Big Fig promise gets me every time I get in bed. I literally stand on Big Fig… catch them next at TCF Expo in Atlanta August 18. Take a spin, it will change your life. Use the Code KENYATTA at checkout and save $100. 

Until the next adventure...Live - Love - Laugh & Most of all be good to yourself. 

XO, 
​Lady Kay 

You can't go to NY & not have sticky wings with good girlfriends at Dallas BBQ's and at midnight! 

​For over 50 years, we have seen the evolution of EBONY. From fashion to politics…EBONY captured the African American perspective and voice creating a platform for blacks to be seen and heard. EBONY was founded in 1945 by John H. Johnson a visionary, businessman, husband and father. The first launch of EBONY was well received selling 25K copies. Among everything the Johnson’s were able to accomplish in their lifetime, they were good people who served and loved their community.
Last week I visited the NC Art Museum to experience 50 Years of Ebony Fashion Fair. It was a magical night that invited women to get dressed up in expressive fashions for a “Girls Night Out” with EBONY. The night resembled EBONY’s spirit for fabulous fashion. Image a room full of women, all different backgrounds, professions, races and cultures…all dressed up representing the best of who they are. Some women played it safe. Some women dressed in fashions that were clearly an extension of who they are. But whatever the fashion statement was…the women looked stunning! 

​Between smiles, hugs, drinks, food, mini photo shoots and laughs…It’s safe to say, I had a great time! Witnessing the evolution of EBONY's fashion & history from 1958-2009 was pretty amazing. The exhibit is breathtaking. It surpassed anything I could have imagined. Each exhibit gave me a new emotion. 

If you are in the Raleigh, NC area or don’t mind a short drive…do yourself a solid and go see the exhibit. Take your daughters, fashion students, girlfriends, mom, aunt. Whatever you do…just make sure you get your hips over to the NC Art Museum & be sure to wear something fab. You will be glad you did. 

Cheers to EBONY for 50 years of black excellence and dedication to fashion, your community, black people! I salute you. 

Thanks for reading loves. Comment below and be sure to share.  
Hugs, 
​Kay 

Photos Provided by NC Art Museum 

​They say Disney World is this special magical place where a kid can be a kid. I vaguely remember our family vacation to Disney when I was eight...LOL.  Thank God for my dad’s handy dandy VHS tapes or I wouldn’t have any memory at all. So with the help of those VHS tapes…I had a great time in Disney as a child. But…a few weeks ago I learned for myself Disney is indeed a magical place.
…28 years later… I am ready to move to Orlando so I can be one with Disney. LOL We has a ball. My College mate lives near the area took very good care of us while we were there. She made sure we had a great time. Between my friend and The Disney Experience, Orlando was a blessing that I didn’t know I needed until I got there. 

​We were in total euphoria from the Disney entry point…to the ferry ride… to the Magic Kingdom to Epcot. Every moment was pretty and magical. When you arrive at Disney, you almost feel like you have been transported into a new world separate from anything you’ve ever experienced. There were tons of people from all over the world, have fun, walking, riding, eating, speaking different languages and having a ball.  The Disney Cast members were dressed up for the holiday and everyone was helpful and friendly. The theme parks were clean and the food was amazing.
To say we were both pleasantly overwhelmed would be a huge understatement. I really don’t think there are words to express how cool it was to be me at Disney.
I will tell you this…If you have not been, make it your business to go. You will want to go back annually. With that in mind, I have decided to go back in January and celebrate my birthday with my friends at Disney. 

​There’s so much to be thankful for this holiday season. 2017 has been a blessed year and we are all blessed to be here. So often we take like and the small things for granted. But I am glad to share a little holiday cheer with you.
I was reflecting about family and the one thing that brings people together. It’s the heartbeat of loved ones and the calling card that brings everyone home for the holiday…Can you guess what it is? Yuppppp….It’s Food! Everyone has a holiday favorite that brings back childhood memories and good times.  If you are like me, you miss the smell of grandma’s kitchen and the warmth of family and friends all gathered around enjoying time old traditions.  
So in honor of holiday…I cooked! Yes…You can cheer now…clap or something LOL! The fact that “I” cooked is a big deal because I don’t do it often. As a single professional woman always on the go…it’s easier and cheaper to eat out or grab cereal LOL. But don’t get it twisted, I am my grandmother’s apple and I didn’t fall far from the tree. I am a country girl at heart and my roots run deep. Everything she taught me about cooking focused on the love for those you were cooking for and trusting the love in your heart to make everything taste amazing. And the proof was always in the second helping, long naps and quiet moments after everyone was full and about to pop…! 

​Once all the greens have been added, turn heat to simmer. Add half cup chicken broth, stir greens and cover for 10 to 12 min. Here is where the love comes in. You have to look at the green to gauge if they have simmered long enough. One sign is the liquid in the bottom should almost be gone. If you want them a little softer, add more liquid and let it simmer with the top on. Don’t over simmer the greens.
Once the liquid has cookout OR you are happy with the texture, TURN THE HEAT UP. Add 5 tablespoons of EVOO and let those babes fry. Continue to stir and turn the green until the greens look yummy. Add the other half of the garlic and red pepper flakes. Continue to stir fry, add honey and keep stirring. Taste your greens. They should have an even flavor of heat and sweet.
I look forward to you trying this receipt at home.
Remember, the holidays are meant to be shared with those you love the most. I pray you enjoy your family and loved ones this holiday season. Be sure to pay it forward and find someone to be a blessing too who is less fortunate. Food has a way of healing hearts and making spirits bright.
 
XO,
Kay