I neglected myself for years in the name of pursuing “my life’s purpose” caring for, pushing, supporting and encouraging others. Girls who grow into women are taught to serve and cater to others. We are taught to sit pretty, cross your leg at the ankle, chew small bites, don’t spit, be polite, smile, be seen not heard; we learned how to cook and clean, sow, keep house and be strong. The generational mentally of serving and surviving was passed down like a badge of honor.
Learning to love yourself is a personal journey. Women often find themselves in positions as a result of indirectly making choices based on childhood values that say put others before yourself. The older I get, the wiser I become. It’s a fact I have been called to serve. As a leader, I was taught the first duty is to serve. I love to serve, and I’m great at it. Here’s the kicker - - I had to come to terms with the fact it’s necessary to serve and ensure my wellbeing before I can do it for someone else. This is the part most women never learn or they learn it late in life.
For years, I willfully neglected myself in every way you can think of. It was easier to focus on others vs. dealing with my issues; the biggest of all, my weight. I've been fat my whole life. I was content being fat, it didn't keep me from doing what I wanted, I wasn't sick so I just kept going. I ignored a few things and prayed God would keep me. Afraid to go to the doctor because I knew if there was bad news, it would be my fault. I focused on helping others ignoring my needs. I’m sure God honored my service, however, I forgot to honor myself.
After several months of feeling stuck and unfulfilled – I came to terms with what was festering in the back of my mental closet. Once I accepted how unhealthy I was and came to terms with my mental, spiritual, physical and emotional posture, it was easier to make small changes. Creating a new normal is never-ending. I am in the infant stages of becoming a healthier me, so I can be a better for those I love and for those whom I am called to serve.
There is liberation in self-care.
These are my personal daily reminders – Feel free to use what you need and share the rest:
Coming to terms with unhealthy behaviors requires honesty. Being honest with yourself about your needs, health and goals is important. The road to healing and wholeness is not easy, but you must go through the process. Every day renew your mind with God’s word and recite positive affirmations. Take it one day at a time and remember to be good to yourself. 28 days of consistent behavior modifications leads to consistent outcomes and positive life changes.
As always, it is an honor to have earned the pleasure of your time. Be good to yourself. Life is a journey, live everyday like it's your last and take nothing and no one for granted.
My prayer for you this week: Focus on yourself, your goals, and Gods plan for your life. It’s honorable to help others but taking care of yourself is God’s will, in Jesus name, Amen.
Here’s to God & Coffee!
Have a great week,
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Welcome to Kay's Korner..I hope you connect, create and find transparency, love and encouragement here. I am here for you and me! Let's make everyday worth living.